midwife – My Mom is the Worst

Here’s the Birth Book Update You’ve Been Waiting For

I now have over twenty birth stories contributed. They may have all been natural births, but each story is very unique, as are the bad ass mamas featured.

The Coys-59 I’ve got a matter of minutes before my baby awakes from her magical slumber and turns in to a salivating little monster in search of THE MILK.

I wanted to give a quick update of where things are at with the most recent masterpiece in the making – a compilation of Natural Birth Stories, meant to inspire woman to take control of their birth care.

I now have over twenty birth stories contributed. They may have all been natural births, but each story is very unique, as are the bad ass mamas featured.

A Woman that had two medicated births and wanted to finally have the birth experience she desired
A woman that gave birth in one of the most progressive birth countries: The Netherlands
A woman that delivered TWINS without pain meds
A woman that had her baby eight minutes after arriving at the hospital (my hand is up)
A woman whose labor lasted more than a day
A woman that had to fight the negativity she received from the hospital staff to persevere
A woman whose body was recovering from physical injury and just a year ago never would have thought her body was capable
A woman that had to face the feared “back labor”
A woman afraid of hospitals and pain.
A woman that has been ashamed to share her birth story because it’s not acceptable to share a positive birth story in light of all the negativity surrounding birth
A woman that had to cancel a work presentation to go deliver her baby

In short, a bad ass woman just like you.

So here is where I am at –

The stories are in, I have requested follow-up details from every contributor, I interviewed Staci (Doula and Owner of Labor of Love), I hired the editor this afternoon, and I am wrapping up the opening chapters this week.

The book is on track to come out this summer. Subscribe to this blog via email to be the first to know when it launches, or follow us on Facebook @Storiesbyjkcoy.

I typically give out some free copies of my books during launch to readers on my email list. So make sure you share this with friends that may be interested.

More news to come.

Natural Birthing By Modern Women; Share Your Story

There is an accepted dialogue around birth in this country. Birth is scary, painful, unnatural, should unfold in a perfect pattern, and demands intervention.

It is time to share another story. Your Story.

This very minute, eight babies are being born in the U.S. – CDC

That’s almost 11,000 babies per day – yet when is the last time you heard anyone talking about natural childbirth in a positive context?

Mention a natural birth and people look at you like you must have suffered some horrible tragedy, or be some sort of a closet hippie. But I know that is not your story. You are an educated, modern woman.

There is an accepted dialogue around birth in this country. Birth is scary, painful, unnatural, should unfold in a perfect pattern, and it demands intervention.

That was the message I had received from society, and I accepted it. Anything less than a doctor, an epidural, and laboring on my back was venturing in to hippie territory. Until I got pregnant myself.

The more I learned, the more I felt conflicted. Everything I thought I knew about birth seemed questionable. It no longer felt like these accepted interventions were in the best interest of the woman. It felt like natural child birth should actually be the starting point for the birth discussion, instead of the option viewed as what crazy, uneducated, poverty-stricken, or careless women chose to do.

I’ve had two unmediated, hospital births in the last two years.

Birth Story One

Birth Story Two

Natural birth doesn’t have to be scary or crunchy.

It’s unfortunate that Ina May’s Childbirth book is still one of the only resources being passed around on natural birth. I love it too, but a book about natural birth on a hippy commune in rural Tennessee isn’t going to resonate with most women.

We need to extend positive birth stories to all women, even those that do not think they want a natural birth. They should know it is a realistic option. It is the most noninvasive form of childbirth possible, and allows women to avoid many negative or unnecessary interventions. It can be very empowering. Most often it is a healthy and safe option for the mama and her baby. And, it’s not some reckless, crazy act reserved for those that love self torture.

Today the U.S. cesarean rate is 31.9%. How has our society convinced women to casually agree to major surgery, without strongly considering that their body is equipped for birth? Medical intervention is an amazing option when needed, but it should not be the norm that women are routinely encouraged toward.

Sharing my experiences will never be enough. There is power in numbers.

For most women, having their eyes opened to alternative birth options, and believing that they are capable of achieving them, are different. All of the self-education in the world likely won’t convince a woman that natural birth may be for her.

It’s the stories of women that have achieved a natural birth, and are just like them, that will make them think maybe, just maybe, it’s possible for them too.

All we can do is plant seeds of belief in other women. If we show them that we have been there and we believe they can do it too, it can make all the difference in their world.

Women need to read many empowering stories to begin to change the birth monologues that society has ingrained in their minds. By sharing a collaboration of natural birth experiences, we can show women that not all childbirth is the crazy shit show that we been taught to fear.

If you have a passion for sharing this message and have always wanted to see your story published in a best-selling book, this is your chance.

Are you ready to change the message around childbirth?

It’s time to share another story. Your Story.

The program kicks off in the next thirty days. Message me for details. Just put the words: Natural Birth – Your Name – Your Email in the message and I’ll get back to you within 24hrs.

You will receive story coaching from an Amazon best-selling author, deadlines to keep you committed, professional editing services, your birth story featured in a book, and marketing materials to share the amazing news that you are now a published author!

I know you have objections, but your story is too important. Let’s do this together!

**FYI, I am currently closed to submissions at this time. Please follow the blog for updates on the release of the current book, and when I will be accepting new clients/stories**

Eight Minute Birth; Baby Delivered Faster Than Pizza Hut

Yup, eight minutes after arriving at the nurses station my baby was delivered.

The scene opens on a seedy nail salon in a strip-mall in Orange County, CA. It’s the type of nail place you go when you’ve already spent too much money on personal grooming that month, and you need a deal. Adequate, but so dated that it’s far from a relaxing and luxurious experience. There is a woman painting my toes and massaging my feet, as I quietly try to breath through contractions without causing a scene.

At this point I am ten days “past due” (my thoughts on that here), and I went to bed the night prior with some minor back pain. In the morning it was still mild so I spent a few hours working on a children’s book marketing project, making no bake coconut bites, taking a two mile walk, washing and vacuuming the car, and buying a new house plant, before finally heading to the nail salon at 2:30 pm. By then I had convinced myself that I was likely in labor, but I figured I had plenty of time since the pain was manageable and hadn’t come around to the front of my belly yet – it was still all in my back.

So, back at the nail salon…another woman started doing my gel manicure. I’m pretty sure it must have been her first gel because it took her over an hour. She kept applying the paint, then wiping it off and starting over.

Mind you, this entire time the back contractions are continuing to intensify. I was shooting the woman daggers with my eyes, praying she would get it together so I could go home and be miserable in peace. I finally asked her if she was almost done because I had to go, this baby was coming tonight. Every ten minutes I was having a thirty second contraction that I had to close my eyes and breath through.

By 4 pm she finally wrapped it up. I drove myself home and was in the tub by 4:15 pm. My husband came in to the bathroom to check on me. I told him what was going on, but figured the contractions needed to get closer together before heading to the hospital. I was planning another natural birth (read the first birth story here) so the last thing I wanted to do was arrive at the hospital too early.

I reached out to my midwife just to let her know that I thought we would be heading in to the hospital later tonight. I decided to track the contractions with an app on my phone. Come to find out, I am a poor counter in pain. The contractions that I thought were thirty seconds long, were really a minute, every eight to ten minutes apart.

I showered between contractions, while my husband made arrangements for our toddler, and then I decided to go lay in bed. My poor husband tried to push on my back during a contraction because the counter-pressure during contractions had been really helpful with my first labor. This time not so much. Laying down and having someone push on my back was the exact opposite of helpful. Contractions were lasting about a minute and a half every four to six minutes at that point. I was almost in tears and snapped at him to stop asking me so many questions!

That was my first cue that we probably needed to head in to the hospital. That, and the intensity of the contractions were getting to the point where I could no longer quietly breath through them. I was moaning out in pain. We headed out to the car for our four mile drive to the hospital.

During the ten minute drive I was alternating between texting my parents who had just arrived at LAX airport an hour away, giving updates to my midwife – contractions were now lasting for one minute – every three minutes, listening to my husband yell at every stop light, and me squeezing my cell phone like a stress ball as I moaned through contractions. As we rounded the corner by the hospital a very intense contraction got me and I firmly pounded my fist on the car door a few times. That got both our attention. This labor had gotten REAL really fast.

Once at the hospital I jumped out of the car while my husband grabbed our bags. I had to pause at a couch inside the hospital to moan through another contraction. There was a man and his young son near by and I was trying my best not to be too loud and scare them. By then my husband caught up with me and was trying to get me to take the elevator up to the birthing level.

“Nope,” I said. I needed to keep moving. I had one goal. Make it to the nurse’s station before the next contraction.

“I’m taking the stairs.”

Thankfully I did, because I literally made it to the nurse’s station, saw my midwife behind the counter and smiled at her, then put my head down telling the triage nurse to talk to my husband for any details she needed. I started moaning through another contraction, except this time it was different. I could feel my body start to involuntarily push the baby down. It was like my body knew I had made it. I was in the hospital. My midwife was there. I was safe. The time was 6:08 pm.

As soon as my midwife heard the types of sounds I was making, she took over the situation. She told the nurses to get me a room NOW. They offered me a chair to wheel me to a room.

“Nope,” I said. I wanted to walk since I had a break between contractions.

We made it to a room and they had me take off my pants (the comfy Le Tote ones I borrowed), and offered me a hospital gown.

“Nope,” I said. I didn’t want to feel like a patient.

The nurses told me I could climb up on the bed.

“Nope.”

I was a woman on a mission at that point; my one and only job was to birth this baby, NOW.

“Hand me those pillows,” I said to the nurse.

That was the last rationale thing I said until my baby arrived. I proceeded to stand next to the bed, lean over, and bury my face in the pillows while I screamed through each contraction as my body pushed the baby down and out. I knew I was supposed to be trying to keep my voice low and relaxed, but all I could do was shrill and hang on for the ride.

Some how my husband was able to get the video camera set-up during all this (in case you’re wondering, it’s not a flattering angle). He then asked the midwife how much time we had before the baby arrived. She confidently responded, “About two more pushes.”

She was right. Two pushes later, she and my husband were catching a perfect baby girl. I laid over the bed panting as if I had just finished a marathon in record time. They offered to pass the baby through my legs so I could hold her and get up on the bed. Official time of birth – 6:16 pm.

Yup, eight minutes after arriving at the nurses station.

after birth love other

I’m not sure if that was a hospital record, but my IRONMAN husband is looking in to it. He laughs because on the video he says it’s like I have a race high. I am really excited and can’t stop jabbering with the nurses about what just happened. In my defense there were a lot of endorphins and hormones rushing through my body at that point.

after birth love

An hour and a half later, the medical staff was finally done prodding my lower half, checking on the baby, and making me answer hospital in-take questions – since we bypassed that last bit on the way in. As they walked out, my parents arrived from LAX.

mommy and baby meet

After a short visit with my parents, we sent them out to get Pizza Hut, the holy grail of post partum. The restaurant was located just a mile away, and they were supposed to deliver the pizza to my parents, downstairs at the main entrance of the hospital. Some how it took over an hour and they ended up delivering the wrong pizza! I thought about calling to complain, but it was 10 pm and I hadn’t eaten since 1 pm…so obviously I just grumbled about it as I ate three pieces. The good news was that it bought us a proper moment to meet our baby girl, and finally agree on a name.

Baby Liv Claire Coy entered our world (2.2.18) fast and furious. A crazy, yet perfect labor and delivery. Definitely, the most exciting Friday night these parents have had in a long time.

perfect baby girl

I’ve heard second labors are typically about half as long as your first.

In your experience, was your second labor much shorter than your first?

Why are Positive Birth Stories Like Rare Unicorns?

Does that mean I am going to tell you that birth is glamorous, something I’d chose to do for fun, or pain free? I wish. Really, I do. I have to do it again myself in just a few weeks

Not everyone wants a natural childbirth. DUH, I get it.

But I’m confident that every mother wants a positive birth experience. The funny thing is, most of us aren’t exposed to many, if ANY, positive birth stories before we have to give birth ourselves.

Either we assume they don’t exist because of how the media portrays birth, or because people are so damn eager to share their horror stories, or because it’s just not the norm.

So I wanted to share my birth story, as a point of positive reference.

Does that mean I am going to tell you that birth is glamorous, something I’d chose to do for fun, or pain free? I wish. Really, I do. I have to do it again myself in just a few weeks (Subscribe to follow this blog and get an update when the final part of the story is added: How I feel About Birth the Second Time Around). But that doesn’t mean that it can’t be a positive, empowering experience when you look back on it.

So here we go, the Birth Story of a Mother, a Father, and a Baby. Because that is the thing, you birth a baby and a new identity for yourself and your significant other, all at the same time. Crazy to think about, right?!

At 33 yrs. old I finally felt like I had traveled, learned, and self indulged long enough, that I was ready for a child. Fortunately my husband was also far beyond his college party days, willingly going to bed by 10pm., and was also on board with the baby idea.

After four months of trying, I took three pregnancy tests the day before Father’s Day and confirmed I was in fact, with child. Why three tests? I messed up the first one by not reading the directions (yup, it can be more complicated than peeing on a stick, for some brands myou have to remove the cover;), the second was a false negative, and the third was a winner!

baby 8.14.15

Once we found out we were pregnant I started down the traditional health care path. I picked an OB-GYN, and as it turned out, I really liked her. She was younger, active, and had two young kids. I had no issues.

But the more I learned about birth in the U.S. (read Part One here: Natural Child Birth Sounds Insane, but You’re Still Curious: Six Resources to Consider) the more I started to think about natural birth. Honestly, I wasn’t 100% convinced I wanted to go that route, but once I found out that there was a midwife that could deliver at my hospital, I switched to her care at 33 wks. I figured it was my best chance of receiving the coaching and attention I felt I would need to achieve the birth I wanted (read Part 2 here: Why Natural Birth Trumped America’s Other Options)

I felt good during the third trimester and continued to stay as active as possible. I gave up running around 32 wks, but was still playing tennis, walking, doing light weights, and a little Zumba.

I went in for an appointment at 40 wks. + 3 days. I wasn’t dilated a bit. But, I figured my baby and body knew what to do when, so I wasn’t too worried. Then the midwife started discussing inserting a balloon to start dilation. I was not excited. She said she would give me a few more days.

At 40 wks. + 5 days, I went to Zumba. I had finished everything on my to-do list, so I decided to layout by the pool. That was noon on Leap Day, The one day my husband told me not to have the baby. I felt what I thought may be the start of contractions, but I decided to relax and see.

By 6pm. when my husband came home from work, I told him I thought I was in labor. Since contractions were still far enough a part, I decided to go to sleep around 9 pm. After an hour they were getting stronger and closer and I started tracking them with an app. I got up, took a bath, packed my bag, paced the house, sat on the exercise ball, and used a heating pad on my back. By 5 am, or so, we texted the midwife to let her know I was in labor. We left the house about 6:15 am, arriving at the hospital by 6:30 am. When I walked in they said I seemed to calm to be in labor. Ha, I didn’t feel calm. I was in pain and just trying to deal with it internally!

When they checked me at 7:15 am, they asked if I wanted an epidural. I said, that depends, how far along am I? I was at 5 cm. I decided to press on.

Once I got in to my hospital room, I was able to pace around the room and lean on various furniture, or my husband, for support when the contractions hit. Once the midwife arrived she applied counter pressure on my back during each contraction. She told me I could try out the labor tub at 8:45 am. At this hospital you could labor in it until your water broke and then you had to get out because of increased risk of infection.

labor pains

By that point contractions were very intense. I was groaning as I could feel the baby moving down with every contraction, and the pressure and intensity building. Honestly I don’t know if I was totally coherent at that point. I was just trying to block everything out.

I do remember that I was no longer a sweet pregnant woman by the time my midwife told me that I needed to get out of the tub so that she could check me (9:50 am). I was more of a barbaric, naked, grunting beast. She said the sounds of my groans had changed, and it was a signal that my body was likely ready to push.

Pretty sure I could have pierced her heart with the daggers my eyes wanted to throw at her in that moment, except that would have taken too much energy and coordination, which I didn’t have at that moment.

Some how I exited the tub and they checked me . Apparently my water broke when they checked me, and I was 10 cm (10:20 am). I was ready to push.

I had imagined that I would want to push standing up, with the help of gravity working with me. But once I was on that bed to get checked, there was no way I was moving. By that point contractions were off the charts, I was screaming and squeezing my husband’s hand, and my body was starting to involuntarily push. Instead I chose a side position, biting a towel, with one of my legs propped up on a push bar for leverage.

Eventually I was told that the high pitched screams weren’t helping anything. Plus, I started to worry that I was scaring the laboring mother in the next room. My midwife suggested that I use low groans, then hold my breath and use the power to push my baby out.

They told me they could see the baby’s head. I figured they were just trying to humor me at that point. They asked if I wanted a mirror so that I could see for myself. I declined. I don’t like medical stuff, there was no way I wanted to see what was going on down there while I was in the middle of it. Some people say the pushing phase feels good after the pain of contractions. That was not my case. The amount of pressure down there felt scary. To be a bit graphic, I felt like I was tearing in half.

But here is the crazy thing. Through all of this, asking for an epidural never crossed my mind. With the constant attention and affirming coaching from my husband and midwife, I felt convinced that this was all normal. This was how birth was supposed to progress. I could just get through it one moment at a time. My body was not broken. I did not need a doctor to fix me. What I needed was a calm environment. Love and support, gentle coaching to try new things (positions, breathing, etc.), and a belief in myself.

But had someone been in my ear asking if I wanted an epidural, or left me alone with my fears, I probably would have cracked.

After pushing for 45 min. the head started to emerge. I was ready for all this fun to be over. During the next contraction I pushed with all my might and the head and the body slide out at 11:08 am. My midwife and husband were there to catch the baby. She was perfect.

I couldn’t believe it. The pain was over. The pain had a purpose. The pain told my body what to do. And that purpose was now in my arms.

I had some tearing, so I had to wait until I delivered the placenta and got stitched up, before I finally got to be left alone between my legs. But once I was, it was awesome. I wasn’t attached to anything. I could freely move and bond with my daughter, soaking up those first few hours as a new little family.

I was pretty damn proud of the birth my daughter and I just achieved together.

Our first amazing adventure, on day one.

Baby Kisses

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So, the big question. Would I do it again? Yup. That’s the plan.

Subscribe to follow this blog and get an update when Part Four of the story is added: How I feel About Birth the Second Time Around.

Want something else fun to read? Check out my collection of loving and sarcastic children’s books (Love You to Pieces Beautiful Monster and My Mom is the Worst).

And, If you have your own positive birth story online (Natural, Medicated, or C-Section), please share a link in the comments below so that we can collect other examples of positive stories. Thanks!

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Four Reasons Natural Birth Trumped America’s Other Options

Eventually my first pregnancy got to the point that I could no longer ignore that this baby was exiting my body, whether I liked it or not. So I decided to educate myself on childbirth.

Something you should probably know about me: I get real squeamish around anything medical.

I don’t like hospitals. I don’t like feeling like a patient. I didn’t like watching ER, back in the day. I would try to watch, because, you know, Mr. Clooney. But, I’d be caught off guard, every episode, by some bodily fluid spraying out. GROSS.

Many of my family members work in hospitals. I plug my ears when they share medical stories at the dinner table.

When it comes to medication, I’ve always erred on the side of less is more. You’ve all seen the commercials where the list of possible side effects sounds far worse than the things the medicine is supposed to treat.

And, I pretty much blacked out during health class. Too much information about the inner workings of my body.

All that said, I’m not sure if that made me a more, or less, likely candidate for natural childbirth.

But eventually my first pregnancy got to the point that I could no longer ignore that this baby was exiting my body, whether I liked it or not. So I decided to educate myself on childbirth, using the six resources I mention in this post, plus lots of stories of woman with positive birth experiences. (Sign up to follow the blog and you will get an alert when the rest of the series is added).

Below are the reasons I found in favor of natural childbirth. Some are fact based, some are preference based. This list was enough to encourage me to make natural childbirth Plan A.

Natural Birth Part Two

A 32% US Cesarean Rate, According to the CDC:

Really?! So one third of woman are now incapable of safely delivering their baby? Bull Sh*t. There are scenarios where a cesarean is most definitely life saving for mom and baby, but there were two instances I was not comfortable with: medical interventions that lead to a cesarean (more on that later), and doctors and mothers that casually consider a cesarean a modern option for any inconvenient pregnancy issue. I’ve heard stories of mothers scheduling cesareans so they could pick a special date, chose their time off based on work schedules or visitors being in town, because they are told their baby is to big on the ultrasound, because they don’t want to push, because they had a c-section before, because a woman has a small-frame she is told she will have trouble pushing out a baby, or just generally because labor is not progressing and the mom is getting too tired. The list goes on. I can’t understand why these are sufficient reasons to under go major surgery. 32% was very discouraging to me. I needed to arm myself with the best possible scenario for avoiding becoming part of this statistic.

One Medical Intervention Often Leads to Another:

Many women that are part of that 32% cesarean rate, don’t enter the hospital thinking that will be their fate. They have the best intentions to labor and deliver vaginally. But then the realities of modern medicine intervene.

1. An epidural is administered for pain management, labor slows down because your body no longer feels the natural sensations, nurses administer pitocin (almost 30% of births use pitocin or other induction methods) to speed up labor which causes contractions to intensify (mom often doesn’t notice because she’s had the epidural), baby starts to go in to distress because of the unnatural intensity and frequency of these super contractions, the babies heart rate spikes to unsafe levels, mom is taken in for an emergency c-section to save the baby.

2. A mother is at, or past, her due date so an induction is scheduled. The doctors try to artificially start and progress labor, which can lead to the same scenario described above.

Again, cesareans are a great option to have when things go wrong, but if the medical interventions used to speed labor ultimately lead to the cesarean, we are a victim of our own medical side effect commercial. Medical intervention comes with side effects, and I didn’t like the course that those interventions could put me on. So I chose to avoid step one, the epidural, in hopes of avoiding the other interventions.

I Wanted Support, Not Ulterior Motives, Driving My Birth Decisions:

Many hospitals have standards about how quickly you need to progress in labor before they offer ways to intervene – for your benefit, of coarse.

And, most doctors will only be there for the last few minutes before baby arrives, leaving you to labor alone or intermittently with a nurse.

I knew labor would be difficult, and possibly scary. As a woman you really have no idea what it will feel like. You don’t get a practice run. I knew I wanted a support system that would be there with me for the challenging parts, and keep me calm. I figured the best way to do that would be to hire a midwife. Because the majority of midwives regularly attend natural births, I felt comfortable trusting my midwife during the birth process. You would never hire a coach that hasn’t regularly achieved that outcome you want. That would be silly. Why would I leave my intentions of a natural birth to someone that doesn’t regularly do it, nor encourage it?

I initially looked for a doula to come alongside my OB-GYN, but found that most were more than I had to spend. Fortunately, I ended up finding a midwife that was approved to deliver at my hospital (I live in Orange County, CA – not some small town, and astonishingly there was still just one midwife approved to deliver at my hospital, at that time). This meant insurance would cover it. I got the best of both worlds: an experienced and encouraging coach and doctor, in a hospital setting in case any issues came up.

Natural Labor in the Hospital — Walking Around to Labor, Temporarily Wearing the External Fetal Monitor to Check on Baby

I Didn’t Want to Feel Like a Patient:

As I explained, I don’t like medical stuff, which includes feeling like a patient. By forgoing the epidural I was able to wear my own clothes (no paper hospital gown), walk around the room, try any position I wanted to find comfort during contractions, soak in the bathtub in my hospital room, eat and drink, push in any position I wanted (instead of flat on my back – which actually makes your pelvis more narrow), and generally deal with the pain on my own terms with a trained and encouraging support partner.

Labor and delivery was hard work, but I felt like my body was doing something powerful and natural. I was not damaged goods, waiting for a doctor to make me better.

Your body is not a lemon. Our creator is not careless. Your body was made for this.

Come back for the rest of the series – my natural birth story, and mentally preparing for my upcoming delivery of baby two. (Sign up to follow the blog and you will get an alert when the rest of the series is added).

Note: my intention is not to shame anyone that has had a different birth experience from mine. My intent is to provide a positive example of what birth can be, in spite of what most of us are exposed to about child birth in the United States. Educate yourself so you can feel comfortable with your own decisions.

Natural Childbirth Sounds Insane, But You’re Still Curious

Six Resources to Help Consider if Natural Birth is Right for You, or Just for Hippies.

I’m a ticking time bomb over here at 37.5 wks. pregnant with Baby Two.

The first time I gave birth I had to learn a lot about my body. It was a topic that I had avoided for many years (thirty-three to be exact). So when I started to even think about natural childbirth, it felt like a bit of an ignorant pipe dream.

Could I? Should I? Why would I want to endure that? Do modern women really chose such a barbaric option, or is that just for gypsy women with no health insurance?

First hour of life, natural birth — First Hour of Life

If you find yourself asking any of these questions, but are still intrigued whether you could achieve your own natural childbirth, we are going to first start by opening your mind to the possibility.

This post is part of a multi-post series on my experience with natural childbirth (Sign up to follow the blog and you will get an alert when the rest of the series is added): resources I found to open my mind to the possibility, the benefits I found in favor of it, actually experiencing it with Baby One, and trying to wrap my mind around the idea of doing it again with Baby Two.

Your mind is incredibly powerful. It will greatly help or hinder you during childbirth. For that reason, we will start there.

Here is a list of the best resources I found to help consider a natural childbirth, and if the possibility was really for me.

Natural Childbirth, is it right for you

Book – Expecting Better – This book is a great place to start, natural birth or not. It helps you to better understand all the “advice” (like “Don’t eat cold cuts”, “Don’t sleep on your back”, “You need a c-section if you had one before”, etc.) we receive as pregnant women, so that you can make educated decisions for yourself based on actual statistics.
Movie – The Business of Being Born – you can find it for free on YouTube. The documentary shares the opinions of doctors that are for and against births by midwife. You get to see what natural childbirth looks like, something most women have never seen: minimal intervention, not hooked up to an I.V., fetal monitor, catheter, and epidural. Painful, intense, beautiful, and empowering, There is even a story of one woman that planned to have a natural birth but ended up in the hospital because of complications with her baby. It reminded me that I feel blessed to have the option of western medicine, when necessary, to support my birth wishes.
Hire a Midwife – I liked my OB-GYN, but at 32 wks. pregnant I finally decided that if I wanted to try for a natural birth, a midwife was my best bet. OB-GYN’s are trained in all the ways to intervene during childbirth. Most have had minimal experience with a natural childbirth. I thought, if it it foreign to them, how are they going to keep me calm and reassure me that everything is normal? I found a midwife that was approved to deliver at the hospital I planned to deliver at. I decided to meet with her, and was impressed how much we discussed the mental side of childbirth and what kind of experience I wanted. There were far fewer rules about how things had to progress. It was about letting my baby and body do their job, and my midwife would be there to coach me through it all.
Book – Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth – This book is divided in to two parts. The first part is natural birth stories. The second part is observations from Midwives that live on a farm in Tennessee and have attended thousands of natural births. I didn’t have you start here, because the book is pretty hippy, but awesome, once your mind is ready for it. Please do not skip this resource if you are considering natural birth. You will gain an entirely new perspective on birth from what our western culture teaches. Plus, Ina has a bit of a sense of humor, “There is no other organ quite like the uterus. If men had such an organ, they would brag about it. So should we.”
Positive Affirmations – Birth will be an experience like no other. Give yourself the best possible chance of dealing with it by having a phrase or two that you can repeat when you start to doubt yourself. For the first birth, mine was something along the lines of: You are strong, capable, and safe. Your body was meant for this. A similar one that I found for birth two is: Your body is not a lemon. The Creator is not careless. Your body was made to give birth.

That’s a lot of homework right there. But you’ve got time. Start with one or two of resources and see if you are still interested. Or just come back to this blog for part two: The Cliff Notes Version of Why I Decided on a Natural Birth (Sign up to follow the blog and you will get an alert when the rest of the series is added).

Have you checked out the recent release of my second children’s book? My Mom is the Worst is available now!

If you have a positive affirmation you plan to use for childbirth, please share it in the comments.