Lady Logic: Wasted Money or Amazing Deal?

So there I was, saving money for my family, and then the Lady Logic creeps in.

You know the rationale you use to validate your crazy?

Well, that’s your Lady Logic.

Let me use myself as an example.

Today I left the house to run errands.

I had showered, and left the house by noon with a newborn.  Just for that,  I was pretty proud of myself.

Gold star!

Eventually I stopped by Old Navy to make returns. We had some extra outfits that we didn’t end up using for family photos this past weekend.  So there I was getting $29.00 in returns done, saving money for my family.

Gold star!

And then the Lady Logic creeps in.

On the way home I stop by a children’s resale boutique, just for a peek.

The kids don’t really need anything…but then again, maybe they do?

And apparently they did.

Browse all the cute kids Toms Here.  One of each please!

There were the mint condition kids Toms,  because I’ll regret passing up a deal like that…

A long sleeve baby sleeper, because it’s been colder than normal here in SoCal…

The black and white Nicole Miller outfit, because everything looks cute on a toddler…

And the toddler Roxy lounge wear, because…

Just because.

My Mom is the Worst Book Cover
My Mom is the Worst available on Amazon Here

The final damage came to $32.00.  And you know what? I left feeling pretty happy.  I made those $29.00 in returns earlier, so it’s like I only spent $3.00 and got all these adorable “essentials.”

Gold star!

And that my friend, is Lady Logic.

***

Wasted money, or an awesome deal?  You decide.

 

Where My Girls At? Crazy Moms Unite.

One time I got after my parents for wasting too many wipes when they were changing the baby for me.  

With my first baby there were so many unspoken rules.

Not the real rules like babies should sleep on their backs, but silly rules I created in my head.

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The strangest one, that I can remember right now, is that I decided we would use just one wipe for pee diapers and two wipes for poop diapers.  One time I got after my parents for wasting too many wipes when they were changing the baby for me.

Looking back it was ludicrous that I thought I needed to control the number of wipes we used each time.

It’s clear I just felt like I needed to be in control of something.   My world was spinning out of control those first few months as a new mom, and I didn’t know how to deal.

Well let me tell you, there is no counting of wipes with the second baby.  Not because I don’t love her as much to try to control everything in the world, but because I have more perspective.

cry baby
The second child gets the hand-me-down goods (like this repurposed sign:) and a more relaxed mama.

Besides, this baby has her own agenda.  The moment I start wiping her, she decides to start peeing again.  If I’m lucky I can whip the diaper back up in time.  But when she’s really cunning, she waits until I have just removed the old diaper, to swap in the new one, and she lets loose.  Needless to say, there is a lot of wash.  I thought getting peed on was supposed to be a boy thing?  Shows how much I know.

It doesn’t matter how many wipes I “intended” to use, I am wiping all the lady parts down again.  I burn through wipes faster than I can count.  And it’s ok, because #2ndtimemom here.  Who the heck cares?!

As annoying as she can be, that frozen girl was on to something.  LET IT GO.

First time moms, second time moms, all the moms – what are/were you trying to control in motherhood that is plain crazy when you can think rationally about it?

For some of you, you are probably too deep in to new motherhood for you to pinpoint it now.  But if your brain literally hurts all the time (like mine did), and you can barely think in full sentences, there are probably a few things on your list to start letting go of.

I don’t want to be the only crazy person up in here.  Feel free to share your #crazymom moment.

You’re in a safe place.  I’ve got your back mamacita;)

An Envy Worthy Freezer Stash, No Pumping Required

Two simple tips that have helped me store over eighty ounces in the first two weeks.

I had a pregnant friend that bought an extra freezer just for breast milk.

It turned out to be a bit presumptuous. She got no where near needing that freezer, with either baby.  But in her defense, that’s what she figured was “normal” being that the breastfeeding mama she nannied for had an extra freezer full of liquid gold.

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Onesie available from Fayfaire HERE

In my own experience, I could barely even breast feed my first daughter for the first three months of her life.

Her latch was bad.  I was in pain every time I fed her.  My supply could barely keep up.

They made me feed her on each side with a shield (since I was cracked and bleeding), then pump to get the rest out and give it to her via bottle , then supplement with formula for any missing ounces.  I’m exhausted just remembering that time period:  Feed/Cry –  Clean Pump Parts/Cry – Repeat.

I was miserable. I wanted to quit. I cried a lot. I yelled a lot. It was an ugly time. I didn’t like me, my husband probably didn’t like me…

For most new mamas, breast feeding is a tough go.  If you’re lucky, the pain only lasts days.  But for others it can be weeks or months.

For perspective’s sake:  think of something that hurts to the point your whole body recoils.  You want to cry, yell, and throw things at the same time.  Now repeat that every two to three hours for weeks, with little sleep, while a little baby screams at you.  That is the early days of breastfeeding.

Because of our latch issue, that was my life for almost three months.

***Yes, I did consider tongue tie surgery, hired a breast feeding coach, went to breast feeding support groups, etc. – eventually baby and I just grew out of our challenges.***

But of course, I was envious of any women with an early freezer stash.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when I gave birth to Baby Two.  This baby knew how to latch from day one. She’s a damn baby genius, if you ask me.

I still had to overcome that painful stage of early breast feeding (I liken it to a baby alligator aggressively chomping at my nips every three hours), but within two weeks, we were over the worst of it.

The funny thing about breast feeding is that there is nothing “natural” about it, until there is.  If you’ve done it – you probably get it.    It can be miserable until that magical day when you notice you’ve made it over the hump.   It becomes almost easy (dare I say, natural) as your body and baby get on the same page.

I still wanted that early freezer stash (and peace of mind) that I never got with my first baby, so I decided to try something new this time around.  I didn’t want to jump straight to the pump.  I still really hate that thing after pumping for over a year while working full-time with my first.

And the new plan has worked!  Just two weeks post partum and I’m on my way to having my own envy worthy freezer stash – WITHOUT pumping.

freezer stash milk haaka
*I’ve Since Moved the Milk to a Freezer Drawer to Prevent Thawing*

Obviously the fact that my baby knows how to latch has helped my supply.  But there are two other things that have worked amazingly.  Here is how I was able to store over eighty ounces in the first two weeks.

freezer stash of milk tips

    1.  A medical grade water bottle with a straw.  Normally, I am the worst about consuming liquids. But the more I drink, the better supply I notice.  I’ve started using a huge mug with a straw.  It allows me to drink a lot, quickly, and it works even when I am laying down in bed, feeding.
    2. A milk collector for let down.  Last time around I let all that extra milk go to waste, collecting in the pads in my shirt.  This time around I invested in a cheap and easy solution, similar to the Haakaa.  It suctions on to the side that baby isn’t latched to and collects the let down.  I like to feed the baby on both sides, so I switch it half way through.  Easy to use, easy to clean, and it builds my freezer stash with no annoying pumping.  I use it during about three feedings a day and I collect about 2-3 oz. each time.  I had no idea I was letting that much milk go to waste last time!

Hopefully these simple tips will help another mama reach “envy worthy” freezer stash status.

Please share with other breastfeeding mamas in your life.  

Eight Minute Birth; Baby Delivered Faster Than Pizza Hut

Yup, eight minutes after arriving at the nurses station my baby was delivered.  

The scene opens on a seedy nail salon in a strip-mall in Orange County, CA.  It’s the type of nail place you go when you’ve already spent too much money on personal grooming that month, and you need a deal.  Adequate, but so dated that it’s far from a relaxing and luxurious experience.  There is a woman painting my toes and massaging my feet, as I quietly try to breath through contractions without causing a scene.

At this point I am ten days “past due” (my thoughts on that here), and I went to bed the night prior with some minor back pain.  In the morning it was still mild so I spent a few hours working on a children’s book marketing project, making no bake coconut bites, taking a two mile walk, washing and vacuuming the car, and buying a new house plant, before finally heading to the nail salon at 2:30 pm.  By then I had convinced myself that I was likely in labor, but I figured I had plenty of time since the pain was manageable and hadn’t come around to the front of my belly yet – it was still all in my back.

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So, back at the nail salon…another woman started doing my gel manicure.  I’m pretty sure it must have been her first gel because it took her over an hour.  She kept applying the paint, then wiping it off and starting over.

Mind you, this entire time the back contractions are continuing to intensify.  I was shooting the woman daggers with my eyes, praying she would get it together so I could go home and be miserable in peace.  I finally asked her if she was almost done because I had to go, this baby was coming tonight.  Every ten minutes I was having a thirty second contraction that I had to close my eyes and breath through.

By 4 pm she finally wrapped it up.  I drove myself home and was in the tub by 4:15 pm.  My husband came in to the bathroom to check on me.  I told him what was going on, but figured the contractions needed to get closer together before heading to the hospital.  I was planning another natural birth (read the first birth story here) so the last thing I wanted to do was arrive at the hospital too early.

I reached out to my midwife just to let her know that I thought we would be heading in to the hospital later tonight.  I decided to track the contractions with an app on my phone.  Come to find out, I am a poor counter in pain.  The contractions that I thought were thirty seconds long, were really a minute, every eight to ten minutes apart.

I showered between contractions, while my husband made arrangements for our toddler, and then I decided to go lay in bed.  My poor husband tried to push on my back during a contraction because the counter-pressure during contractions had been really helpful with my first labor.  This time not so much.  Laying down and having someone push on my back was the exact opposite of helpful.  Contractions were lasting about a minute and a half every four to six minutes at that point.  I was almost in tears and snapped at him to stop asking me so many questions!

That was my first cue that we probably needed to head in to the hospital.  That, and the intensity of the contractions were getting to the point where I could no longer quietly breath through them.  I was moaning out in pain.  We headed out to the car for our four mile drive to the hospital.

During the ten minute drive I was alternating between texting my parents who had just arrived at LAX airport an hour away, giving updates to my midwife – contractions were now lasting for one minute – every three minutes, listening to my husband yell at every stop light, and me squeezing my cell phone like a stress ball as I moaned through contractions.  As we rounded the corner by the hospital a very intense contraction got me and I firmly pounded my fist on the car door a few times.  That got both our attention.  This labor had gotten REAL really fast.

Once at the hospital I jumped out of the car while my husband grabbed our bags.  I had to pause at a couch inside the hospital to moan through another contraction.  There was a man and his young son near by and I was trying my best not to be too loud and scare them.  By then my husband caught up with me and was trying to get me to take the elevator up to the birthing level.

“Nope,” I said.  I needed to keep moving.  I had one goal.  Make it to the nurse’s station before the next contraction.

“I’m taking the stairs.”

Thankfully I did, because I literally made it to the nurse’s station, saw my midwife behind the counter and smiled at her, then put my head down telling the triage nurse to talk to my husband for any details she needed.  I started moaning through another contraction, except this time it was different.  I could feel my body start to involuntarily push the baby down.  It was like my body knew I had made it.  I was in the hospital.  My midwife was there.  I was safe.  The time was 6:08 pm.

As soon as my midwife heard the types of sounds I was making, she took over the situation.  She told the nurses to get me a room NOW.  They offered me a chair to wheel me to a room.

“Nope,” I said.  I wanted to walk since I had a break between contractions.

We made it to a room and they had me take off my pants (the comfy Le Tote ones I borrowed), and offered me a hospital gown.

“Nope,” I said.  I didn’t want to feel like a patient.

The nurses told me I could climb up on the bed.

“Nope.”

I was a woman on a mission at that point;  my one and only job was to birth this baby, NOW.

“Hand me those pillows,” I said to the nurse.

That was the last rationale thing I said until my baby arrived.  I proceeded to stand next to the bed, lean over, and bury my face in the pillows while I screamed through each contraction as my body pushed the baby down and out.  I knew I was supposed to be trying to keep my voice low and relaxed, but all I could do was shrill and hang on for the ride.

Some how my husband was able to get the video camera set-up during all this (in case you’re wondering, it’s not a flattering angle).  He then asked the midwife how much time we had before the baby arrived.  She confidently responded, “About two more pushes.”

She was right.  Two pushes later, she and my husband were catching a perfect baby girl.  I laid over the bed panting as if I had just finished a marathon in record time.  They offered to pass the baby through my legs so I could hold her and get up on the bed.  Official time of birth –  6:16 pm.

Yup, eight minutes after arriving at the nurses station.  

after birth love other

I’m not sure if that was a hospital record, but my IRONMAN husband is looking in to it.   He laughs because on the video he says it’s like I have a race high.  I am really excited and can’t stop jabbering with the nurses about what just happened.  In my defense there were a lot of endorphins and hormones rushing through my body at that point.

after birth love

An hour and a half later, the medical staff was finally done prodding my lower half, checking on the baby, and making me answer hospital in-take questions – since we bypassed that last bit on the way in.  As they walked out, my parents arrived from LAX.

mommy and baby meet

After a short visit with my parents, we sent them out to get Pizza Hut, the holy grail of post partum.  The restaurant was located just a mile away, and they were supposed to deliver the pizza to my parents, downstairs at the main entrance of the hospital.  Some how it took over an hour and they ended up delivering the wrong pizza!  I thought about calling to complain, but it was 10 pm and I hadn’t eaten since 1 pm…so obviously I just grumbled about it as I ate three pieces.  The good news was that it bought us a proper moment to meet our baby girl, and finally agree on a name.

Baby Liv Claire Coy entered our world (2.2.18) fast and furious.  A crazy, yet perfect labor and delivery.  Definitely, the most exciting Friday night these parents have had in a long time.

perfect baby girl

I’ve heard second labors are typically about half as long as your first.
In your experience, was your second labor much shorter than your first?

 

Super Preggo Ladies, Could You Just Relax?

Which was harder for you – the last two weeks of your pregnancy, or the first two weeks home with your newborn?

Here’s a recipe for an internet disaster:  Tell a bunch of tired and hormonal women to RELAX already.

But I can’t. I literally can not hear another women complain about needing her baby out NOW without adding another perspective.

pregnant mom 2
Comment Credit:  Nurture Pregnancy App

Note:  If you are a nurse or a well meaning friend or family member – please don’t add to that notion either.  Help these women relax!  Buy them ice cream, rub their feet, but don’t make them feel like their baby NEEDS to come out now.

pregnant mom 1
Comment Credit:  Nurture Pregnancy App

This P.S.A. is coming from someone that is currently “past due” by almost a week, so I’m in the trenches too.  But not for a second will I be fooled that I can’t wait a few more days for my baby to arrive.  Passing your due date is not a reason to panic.  It doesn’t mean something is wrong with your body or your baby.  You don’t need to start planning your induction the second you reach your last month of pregnancy.  I mean, your baby WILL arrive.  I have never heard of one baby that grew up and graduated in their mother’s womb.

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Comment Credit:  Nurture Pregnancy App

Don’t get too caught up in the labor signs either.  Some of us have Braxton Hicks and start dilating weeks before baby makes an appearance.  Some of us go from 0-10 cm dilated in less than twenty four hours with no prior labor signs.  Neither is right or wrong.  Our bodies are unique.  Our babies are unique.  Relax mamas-to-be.  You are almost there.  Your baby will arrive any day now.

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Comment Credit:  Nurture Pregnancy App

Trust me, I get it, you are uncomfortable right now.  Your ankles may be swollen, your skin may be tight and itchy, you can’t find a comfortable sleeping position.  That’s all real.

But I hate to break it to you, you aren’t going to be comfortable for awhile.

If you’ve never been through it or in case you’ve forgotten, once baby arrives, your body is still not the one you are longing to return to for awhile.  The unglamorous truth is that your body will be bleeding for a few weeks afterwards, statistically you’ll probably be recovering from stitches (vaginally or a c-section), and you still won’t be getting any sleep.

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Comment Credit:  Nurture Pregnancy App

Sure you won’t be waking up to pee and reposition every few hours; instead it will be to soothe and feed a crying baby.  Your boobs will be huge, leaky, and overly sensitive.  Your mind won’t be able to shut off because you have a newborn to check on.

I’m not saying this to scare you.  I’m just honestly wondering, do those sound like great alternatives to rush through the last days of your pregnancy?

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Comment Credit:  Nurture Pregnancy App

Personally, I am in no rush.  Baby will come, and I will be thrilled when she does.  In the meantime, I am trying to relax, even in my super preggo body.  Because relaxing and thinking in concise thoughts is something the newborn stage doesn’t often afford.

Have you read Love You to Pieces, Beautiful Monster or My Mom is the Worst?  These children’s books offer a good laugh to a tired parent, and make a great gift.  Check them out here.

JK Coy Books

For the women on the other side of pregnancy:  Which was harder for you – the last two weeks of your pregnancy, or the first two weeks home with your newborn?