The book is packed full of tips for those interested in the idea of a minimal intervention birth plan, and the second half of the book is dedicated to empowering and detailed birth stories.
The week ahead is pretty monumental. It’s a fresh start – a new year!
Many of us are in the middle of goal setting. If you want to read my thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions (hint: run from them) and some of my goals for the upcoming year, click here.
I actually heard from a friend today that said her goal is to read one book a week. Wow. That’s impressive. And though that is not my goal this year, I love the idea of reading more. I know many of us hope to read more in 2019.
The book is packed full of tips for those interested in the idea of a minimal intervention birth plan, and the second half of the book is dedicated to empowering and detailed birth stories.
I’d love for you to share this with friends and family that would love to get their hands on their first read for 2019.
Resolutions are for quitters. One slip-up and you feel like all is lost. You’re a failure. You didn’t try hard enough. Game over.
I am a goal setter. Are you?
I’m currently mapping out 2019. My list is long and spans many facets of life (business, marital, social, physical, spiritual, financial, family, hobbies…), but the one thing you won’t find on my list?
Resolutions.
Resolutions are for quitters. One slip-up and you feel like all is lost. You’re a failure. You didn’t try hard enough. Game over.
That kind of self-talk flat out stinks. It’s not motivating. Goals, on the other hand, help you frame everything with a growth mindset. “Today (fill in the blank) happened. What can I learn from that to take the next step toward the goal I set for myself to achieve in 2019?”
I literally just finished four miles on our treadmill, then picked up my phone and started typing this post. Probably not a huge surprise for those that know me, but two of my goals this year are:
1, Set a new PR for a half marathon. (Benchmark: Surf City 2017 1:50:14//8:25 pace)
If you want to use the same goal tracker I’ve been using for years – here is the monthly and quarterly template view:
No matter which way you chose to attack 2019 – be courageous. Set big goals and set out an action plan for each.
Yes. You have to write it down.
More specifically you have to write down the S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, andTime-Bound) action steps that will point you in the direction of your goal, and let you know if you actually got there!
Once you’ve decided on a goal and written down your S.MA.R.T. steps, share it with someone. A boss, a spouse, a friend, Instagram. Me. It doesn’t matter who, but it does matter that YOU DO.
This year I started by writing down every goal I could possibly hope to achieve in each category. Then I spent the next week just letting them swirl around my head to see if…
…anything else came to mind…
…then really consider which one was most critical in each category.
Not which was the easiest to achieve, but what would truly take that area of life to the next level.
Next week I’ll be putting them in to my template so that I can track them weekly (honestly, sometimes weekly becomes monthly, but do what you need to do to keep yourself accountable).
Don’t be afraid to let this goal-setting process take a week or two. Remember, you are planning out the next year. That’s pretty major.
You’re pretty major.
GO GET THIS YEAR!
…
I’d love to hear which goal you are most excited to work on in 2019. Drop it in the comments below.
Happy New Year from the Coys! Cracking up because the little ones eyes are saying, “Help me!”;)
Not everything you did before kids was that awesome. You had freedom, but I’m sure it wasn’t always used wisely.
If we’re being honest, little pieces of you die when you start having kids.
Hold up. This is not some marter-fest where we sit around and talk about how our best days are gone now that we had kids. I’ve actually come to see this as a good thing. Stick with me.
Not everything you did before kids was that awesome. You had freedom, but I’m sure it wasn’t always used wisely. You could have traveled the world. You could have spent time volunteering at a children’s hospital. You could have read more books. I actually really hope you did!
But you all also spent a decent amount of that time picking the right filter for your rose’ picture by the pool, binge watching shows on netflix, and spending long hours sitting in front of your computer at the office.
And there is nothing wrong with any of that.
Except that kids are vacuums. They suck up most of the hours you once had.
Because of that, pieces of you will have to die. The great part is, you are an adult with a tiny semblance of control. You get to pick which pieces you keep and which to let go, but you will be forced to be selective.
@mommyconvos
Read the book or watch the show?
Do your make-up or snuggle with the kids?
Take the pictures or live the moment?
Run the extra miles or write the next book chapter?
Take on the extra work project or make dinner from scratch?
This is not a test, there is no wrong answer. But you still need to chose wisely. Not because one is bad and the other is good. Chose wisely because there is less time that you have to work with. If you don’t intentionally chose, you will feel like there is never any time, and feel resentful that all the former pieces of you were forced to die. Thanks kiddos.
Your goals will naturally need to be fewer in number, incredibly focused, and likely with a grace-filled (ie longer than you would like) timeline. Coincidently, that is actually a great formula for successfully accomplishing your goals with or without kids.
Before kids, it’s just easier to assume you will act later because you own all the hours. But when kids are present, you don’t know which hours will be yours. You have to be intentional. You need the day’s game plan in your head so that when the minutes and hours appear, you can seize them.
Do you see how kids can actually be a highly effective tool at helping you decide what the best pieces of you are? Go tell that sweet baby thank you. Unless they are sleeping. In that case DO NOT WAKE THEM!
My current goal is getting my third book finished up. I literally have one step for it, each day, that I plan to complete. Beyond that I don’t even try because with young kids I wouldn’t be setting myself up for success or happiness. After I finish that one goal, I let my kids guide most of the day. My goals are few and focused, and accomplishing them takes much longer than I’d like. But I get to enjoy my kids in between. It makes me happy knowing that there is a small, but very important, piece of me still thriving amongst that chaos.
My Mom is the Worst Children’s Book, Available on Amazon Here
Which pieces of you have you intentionally chosen to focus on once having kids?
The hours are mundane, but the memories are everything.
My computer straight up died as I started to type the first sentence of this post. I find it humorous in this moment, because that’s kinda how I feel right now.
Like, I don’t wanna. Waaaahhh!
I kinda just want to relax for a moment.
Today is my last day as a mother of two under two. Obviously, it hasn’t been my most productive month. I’m home all day with a newborn, so you would think I could accomplish more, but I’m no longer in charge of my own schedule. I’m on the baby food clock now. And come to find out, I don’t feel super creative when I’m lacking sleep, rocking crying babies, and planning my life in two to three hour blocks.
When I think about it rationally, I know my whole world isn’t going to crumble if I opt out of my norm for a month, or two, or three…
But honestly, when I’m in it, living it, I forget.
Why is it such a struggle?
Why do we convince ourselves that slowing down is going to have these major implications?
Our career or business is going to fall apart, our relationships will unravel, our bodies will never be the same, we’ll never do x and y and z again….
Deep breathe. We gotta let that stinking thinking go.
It is true that life won’t pause for us when we slow down. But it will always be there, ready to pull us in another direction.
We won’t convince our babies to slow down for us, so maybe we should slow down for them, while we can.
The newborn stage is a strange one. Life revolves around a tiny, helpless being. The hours are mundane, but the memories are everything.
We’ve got responsibilities. We’ve got bills. We’ve got goals. We’re adults now. But really, we’re also just horrible at pausing and seizing the day.
For most of us there is always a to-do list. We are always thinking about what’s next.
But some times life hands you a 90 degree day in January and you just can’t ignore that kind of gift.
Except we do. All the time. Because, life.
We’ve got responsibilities. We’ve got bills. We’ve got goals. We’re adults now. But really, we’re also just horrible at pausing and seizing the day. I’m preaching to myself here, but honestly, probably you as well.
Toward the end of both of my pregnancies I have been reminded of this. I have a to-do list and I work feverishly to complete it because I know there is a huge productivity wasteland coming at me in the near future. And then all the boxes get checked.
But each time I’ve reached forty weeks pregnant, neither of my babies have arrived. So I have some unaccounted for time. I am forced to remember what I used to do for pure pleasure before I was a grown-up. Ummmmm?!What?! But then it starts to slowly come back to me…hang out with friends…do something creative, like drawing a picture…go to the beach!
This Beach Bag was given to me on the last day of my position at a corporate marketing company. I think they assumed I would use my new “free time” at the beach. Today was the first time it’s been used.
So that’s kind of what I’ve been up to this last week.
The productive adult in me is embarrassed to admit it. I feel the need to mention the admirable, grown-up things I’ve done this week (attend a children’s book writing class, write query letters to agents, track stats and book sales) so you don’t think less of me. But honestly, doing things just for fun has been super strange, and super fulfilling.
I’ve gone to a chick flick at the theater (who knew movies were only $6 if you go at 11 am?!), I’ve done some pencil drawings in my sketch book, and another preggo mama and I spent three hours at a cozy little spot in Laguna Beach chatting with the sand between our toes on a beautiful 90 degree day in January.
It’s like my Baby Girl is already forcing me to mentally slow down and be present and grateful for the moment in front of me, a skill that surely does not come naturally as an adult.
Watch out world, she already wants to be in charge.
So instead of European vacations or a trip home for the holidays, I scheduled some other fun activities.
Various doctors appointments. Finally sitting down to write our Will. Cooking over twenty freezer meals before Baby Two disrupts our routine.
I clearly know how to keep a marriage hot.
My husband had the week between Christmas and New Years off. The younger versions of us would have never let this week pass us by without making some amazing travel plans. The current versions of us let finances, toddlers, and the third trimester of pregnancy get in the way. Lame excuses. I know.
So instead of European vacations or a trip home for the holidays, I scheduled some other fun activities.
Various doctors appointments. Finally sitting down to write our Will. Cooking over twenty freezer meals before Baby Two disrupts our routine.
I clearly know how to keep a marriage hot.
We did the freezer meals before Wynn was born and it turned out to be a life saver for us. There was already going to be plenty of chaos in our house as first time parents of a newborn, and typically we cook a hot breakfast daily, and 5-6 dinners a week.
There was no way that was going to happen those first few months, so being able to pull out a meal from the freezer was one very appreciated amenity. Between a tired mama, and a crying newborn, nothing good happens in the kitchen. We would have ended up eating Chipotle or Pizza Hut every night, which contrary to what some of you believe, probably isn’t the best idea.
Actually, it could have been even worse than that.
We could have reverted back to our early marriage days where lean pockets and ramen noodles were considered full meals. You can read about the entire ridiculous year we spent learning to cook here. Expect to read lots of embarrassing stories and many, many typos. You’ve been warned.
You don’t have to be pregnant to benefit from stocking your freezer with meals. This is great for all of us with a busy life.
Here is the game plan we used to stock our freezer with 22 meals (88 servings). I recommend spreading the tasks over three days so that you don’t overwhelm yourself:
Day One (30 min/1 person): Gather recipes on Pinterest for freezer meals. I actually had these saved on my computer from last time we stocked the freezer. We chose 11 different recipes and planned to make two batches of each recipe.
Day One Cont. (30 min/1 person): Create a master shopping list, organized by the section of the store the ingredients would be found in: meat, produce, canned goods, etc. Make sure to double ingredients if you plan to make multiple of the same meal.
Day Two (1 hr/1 person): Go grocery shopping. I went to two stores, Grocery Outlet and Ralphs, and spent $230 ($2.61 per serving). The most expensive part was that we chose to buy organic meat and ingredients when possible. It adds up, but organic meat is important to us, especially when I will be nursing and passing everything along to my young baby.
Day Three (3 hrs/2 ppl. steps 4-7): Label all the freezer bags with date/recipe name/servings/and cooking day instructions.
Put all the meat in the bags so that you only have to touch meat once before moving on to other ingredients.
Recipe by recipe add remaining ingredients. It’s great to have one person reading the recipe and adding the dry ingredients while the other person is chopping the fresh ingredients. Lay each bag flat in the freezer, and stack them on top of each other to save space.
Clean up.
For a price, there are sites out there that will email you a monthly menu, shopping list, prep instructions, and bag labels. Once a Month Cooking is one that I have used a free sample menu from in the past. But I also enjoy finding recipes of my own that I know my family will eat.
If you looked in our freezer on a typical day, it’s freakishly barren. To the point you might feel bad for us. A few mini bottles of airplane booze and an ice pack. But now it is completely stocked. We look like a real American family, with the status symbol of abundance, the ‘overflowing freezer’.
We did the freezer meals before Wynn was born and it turned out to be a life saver for us. There was already going to be plenty of chaos in our house as first time parents of a newborn, and typically we cook a hot breakfast daily, and 5-6 dinners a week.
My Mom is the Worst 