Tag: job

A Shout-Out to the ‘All-in’ Dads

Parenting doesn’t have to be attached to gender roles. Thankfully, it can be a team sport where we back each other up and fill in each other’s gaps.

To the ‘All-in’ Dads out there, we see you.

The Dads that…
Wake up at 4a.m. to console tears, make scrambled eggs for breakfast, pick out twinning shoes for them and their mini-me, make homemade baby food and pack lunches, braid hair and brush teeth, do the daycare/school drop-off, go to work, handle doctors appointments on lunch breaks, always carry the diaper bag, cheerlead at swim lessons and send photos from soccer practice, clean up vomit and pee sheets, make the best forts and sidewalk chalk art, get silly dancing in the kitchen with their little fam, and then wrap up the day with a bedtime routine that includes story-time character voices, laughter, lullabies, and back scratches.

johnlegandIG
Photo Credit: @Johnlegend Instagram

But even so, sometimes Dads get shorted just because they’re not Moms. Like a Dad’s contribution to his children is less significant because he doesn’t ‘do it all,’ and ‘needs the Mom.’

Sure, they didn’t carry their children inside them for nine months, or experience breastfeeding firsthand, but the longer women hold on to the idea that they are the one-and-only capable caregiver, the longer they belittle a Dad’s amazing assistance.

Ideally, no parent should be expected to have to do it on their own. Plenty of Dads totally step-up it when it comes to parenting these days, and spoiler – they are making Moms’ lives easier too.

dad reading to kids, best dad ever

Parenting doesn’t have to be locked to gender roles, especially in homes where both parents work. Thankfully, it can be a team sport where we back each other up and fill in each other’s gaps.

It’s about knowing each-other’s parenting strengths, joys, and weaknesses. But beyond that, it’s about stepping up as-needed for the good of our families.

therock3
Photo Credit: @therock Instagram

‘All in’ Dads, we see you going to bed satisfied and exhausted from killing this fatherhood thing all day.

We are lucky to have you, we appreciate the help you provide, and your children are better off by the fatherhood examples you set every day.

In short, thank you.

 

***

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I Started a New Job the Day My Baby was Born

For twenty eight hours a week, I became the leading lady at the new topless bar in town.  I had no choice.  The baby had to eat.   

The day my daughter was born, I started a new job.  For twenty eight hours a week, I became the leading lady at the new topless bar in town.  I had no choice.  The baby had to eat.

shutterstock breastfeeding mama
@shutterstock

It is true.  Some people picture maternity leave as one long vacation.  But women everywhere are actually busy doing some of the most demanding and thankless jobs during this time – sustaining human life.  In my case that meant nursing, but I assume the hours are similar for moms using formula.  There is plenty of work to fill the hours we used to use at our real jobs.

While being the leading lady at the topless bar is not less significant than a fancy job that you need a degree for;  you’re not going to get paid the same.  People (*husband*) may refer to you as the “Boob Lady.”  Your shifts will be mandated every three hours by a loud, tiny boss. You’ll suddenly have to become a logistical genius to go on a mommy vacation (Target) for more than an hour at a time.

I am not complaining.  I am just speaking in facts.  Those first couple months a baby eats around eight times a day, for thirty minutes per session (prepping, feeding, clean-up).  Each week the math works out to about twenty eight hours (during the newborn stage), with no days off.

shutterstock breastfeeding mama 2
@Shutterstock

In my experience, everything got a little easier with the second child.  Overall, I had a better routine down.  But, it still took at least thirty minutes to execute.   Every three hours I would change baby, nurse and burp baby, freeze the let down milk I had collected and clean the collection cup (read how I’ve managed to build a serious freezer stash with ZERO pumping), then rock baby back to sleep or let her play on the mat.

Now that it is my second time working at the topless bar in two years, I understand that the role is temporary.  My job description will change over time.   “Boob Lady” doesn’t have to be my lifelong identity.  However, it is a significant part of who I am right now.

And for those that have ever wondered what a new mom does with all her free time during maternity leave, come visit her at work.  On the couch, where you tip her in foot massages and quality dark chocolate.  **Shirts are always optional.**

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